News just in from the Onion
Representatives from One World Finance, a U.S.-based microcredit provider, confirmed Monday that they had initiated foreclosure proceedings on a goat in southern India following a borrower's repeated failure to make her $2.20 monthly loan payments. "I tried to work with Ms. [Subha] Thangam on this, but once she fell a full $6.10 behind, I had to repossess the goat," said loan officer Michael Conrad, who stated that he was just doing his job and that it was "not [his] fault" if certain subsistence farmers were living beyond their means. "I'd love to recoup the entire $22 loan at auction, but given the glut of foreclosed and abandoned goats in the area, I'd be lucky to get even half that." Conrad also acknowledged that the owner had left the goat in "pretty bad shape" and had even stripped it of its hair for potential resale on the paintbrush market.